Reassurance
Sunday, 18 January 2009
*cont*
A little background about me here:
I'm 21 now. I started dating when I was 18. My last relationship was 2 years back (I'm not sure coz I don't really bother keeping track anymore) In the past, the shortest relationship I had was 2 weeks and the longest was half a year. And the following are only some of the things that I'm ready to reveal out.
So what went wrong with my past relationships? Or, should I also say, what did I learned from it.
Very often I jump into a relationship with a guy who I don't really know well enough. Then again, I'm not saying that it's always a bad or wrong thing to do coz who knows it might work out. I've been in both situations before and there were those I did not regret being with even if I did jump into it too soon. I guess what I've learn is that I should be more caution and it's also still possible to have fun even in a 'safe situation'.
It wasn't love in the first place. Yes, we were attracted for a certain reason. But is it for the right reason? I remember there the guy approach and comfort me when I just broke up and I eventually got together with him not long after the break up. After some time, I realize that he was my rebound and we broke up, not only because of that, but also because we did not get along well. I did try, you know - but...
there is no distinguish which can hide love for long where it exist, or stimulate it where it does not.And even when love can be cultivated from time to time, that's where I mentioned that we did not get along well. Our communication broke down a lot of times until I couldn't take it anymore. Then again, I've my fair share in this case. I was a rebound too in my last relationship which was right when I gave up in 'love' itself and was single for the longest time (if you know me personally, you know what I mean). Still, I did try to deny the fact that I had a little hope for something good about 'love' to happen.
Cheating is a big issue in every relationship. I lost all trust for guys in my first relationship because of that. Prince Diana was right when she mentioned: "Three is a crowd" I've learned to be on guard all the time in my following relationships. Trust is something I've to deal with personally. It's my fight. Although I think that being cautious is always good for self protection and trust have to be earned (in most situations), I cannot summarize that all guys will cheat. Like I've mentioned before, it's my fight. To trust is still a very hard thing for me to do.
Finally; going back to Ash's post, I cannot agree any more on her agreement towards Dr John Gray's statement made in his book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus;
"A women should not be judged for needing reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw."But I'm agreeing on the other part of the sentence about women symbolized as a wave.
Quoted from Wikipedia:
Me - being a highly egoistic living being, I had always try to deny the fact that I needed reassurance constantly, in fact, I wouldn't even want to admit that I would feel insecure and very emotional from time to time.The wave is a natural cycle for women that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a woman feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.
But honestly, deep inside me, my heart knows the truth.
If there was one important thing I've learned from being in a relationship, it is that, sometimes; to love is to let him/her go. Even when your feelings is still strong for the person. Even with a heavy heart, you give comfort and wishes all the best for his/her future.I know, because he let me go.
posted @ 13:08,
