How do you know if it's LOVE?
Thursday, 1 May 2008

Love?


I had been having quite a few conversations with a few of my friends about "How do you know if it’s love?" Talked from what’s love to them, to puppy love, to lust... infatuation, real love, pure love… yada yada yada...

Before I give my own point of view… let’s see what others have to say first.



How do you know if it's LOVE?, I asked....



Tharan
True love is a sense of security and passion that can only be felt by the 2 parties involved.


CF
it's actually a very simple feeling...
the way i see it...i know its love when i know and i feel there's no other girl who can tempt me or i wanna be with..


Estee

Well I think there is a very fine line between like and love, in fact it’s so blurred; sometimes they blend into each other

But I think in the end

Love is when you know that your quality of life will be much worst without the person, and you’re willing to change your lifestyle, give up a chunk of things you love (hobbies, other boys/girls) and be solely committed to ONE person. It’s the ability to accept that person you don’t like and know you can never change.

In a nutshell, if you are willing to sacrifice some part of you that’s important even though it hurts real badly, that’s a sign of love.

Chemistry, huh?

Like is much shallower

Like is more of what you can get then what u can give

Like is making yourself feel good, love is making someone else feel good.



YT
It’s just the feelings…

Can sense it wan

Some unique feelings that words can’t describe

But both parties know it…



KT
I don’t.

U just do the best u can

Because if it’s love, I think u duneed to ask if u know or not


X

It all boils down to a single point

Ask yourself “Do you put yourself before that person?”

And how far will you go to make him happy.



Kevin

If its 2 ways its love

If its one way it’s infatuation

If you are willing to go outta your way for that person and vice versa

Then it’s love

But you have to be rational about it

Meaning it shouldn’t affect your future or what you’r doing

If ur thinking about him 24/7

And getting all emo to the max if he disappoints u

Then that’s not love, it’s infatuation

And a painful one at tat



FT
Love is certainly not something able to be well defined. There’s no concrete structure or any science that can explain when and how one is fallen in love. However, the general perception that always converges at the end of the day despite the millions of opinions on how to define it, it’s usually confined to a special bond between two people that is not easily explainable to a third party beyond the two who are involved.

On the same note of how many differences of opinion on what is love, the same goes for how one would fall in love in the first place. The usual general discussion of why, most of the time, relates to physical attractiveness, then maybe on seeing the inner beauty of the other half, but the truth is, every individual who eventually become a couple with the other half, somehow or rather, have their own logic and unique process as to how they become a pair, the same process may not be replica table for others.


Finding the other half isn’t exactly as simple or as ideal as one might try to visualize, it’s not as if finding someone who matches all your shopping list and when you’re done, you just go over the counter, and pay the bill. It’s not like we’re living in an environment which is too predictable in nature, some may put it as coincidence while others may say is fate, but what is more important, isn’t about if all these are about either freewill or destiny, but how well the chemistry or bond between two people in terms of understanding and complementing each other beyond a friendship level.


As to when would someone know it’s love? There are many romantic and cheesy lines in attempting to explain this, but fundamentally, again, there’s no science to it, you know it when you are in love.


John

Whether it’s love or not depends heavily on what terms it is defined. One thing I can say is this: you are happy being single. That’s good. Having him is an added blessing. It’s supposed to add to your happiness and not to make you more miserable. And this you can only find out if certain risks are made boldly while setting aside all the stereotypes you have in your mind about guys, people in general and love. Be open.

Love is not a game. We don’t throw dices and see what moves we’ll make based on the chances we get. Id life itself was a game of pure chance; everything would be mere coincidences; which is not. There is a reason for everything and here’s why they’re called ‘significant others’. It is only significant when you strive for it with a pair of sharp eyes, a couple of good ears, a mouth shut, a lil faith, a dose of persistence and a while lot of mistakes. Get it right or otherwise.


David

They say the best things happen when you least expect it

To kick start a relationship, it’s not love.. it’s an agreement to give each other a try

(of course in order to agree, have to have a reasonable amount of trust, comfort and fondness you have for each other)

So once you have those ingredients

That’s when you two give it a go

After a while you realize it’s getting on OK

He’s nice and a husband material and ll that

Then you two work towards sustaining it – and happily doing it

After a while you’ll realize that you can’t lose him for another person

I guess that’s love




Wedding Crashers

Claire Cleary: What is true love?
John Beckwith: True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
Claire Cleary: It's a little cheesy but I like it.
John Beckwith: I read it on a bumper sticker!


---

To a certain extend, I still have the concept that love is indeed overrated. Honestly, it all boils down to say that love cannot be explained in words, most of the time expressed through actions.


How do I know if it's love? Well, honestly, I don't.


And I also don't believe in fate or destiny.

I don't believe that there's only one soul mate in this world for a person.

I don't believe that love conquers all.

I don't believe in the statement that says "We complete each other" because a person has to be whole in the first place before getting together with another.

I don't believe that stuff about finding your other half, but because I do believe that what you look for is someone who makes you a better person when you're with them,
who changes you for the better,
who makes you the best person you can possibly be,

Because I didn't have to pretend to be anything other than who I am; when I am with him.


Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.


Like what John had said, I too strongly believe that the person that you are getting together with should add happiness into your life (vice versa).


FT also mentioned that it's how well the chemistry or bond between two people in terms of understanding and complementing each other beyond a friendship level, which I believe, is very well said.


And I agree on David elaboration on how one gets into a relationship and all :)
but then again, a person is still single when not asked officially (face to face) to be together. Because when a relationship is concern and you are serious about it, mutually and silently acknowledge the "together" thing is not accepted.


Well, for now, all I can conclude is that whatever LOVE is to others, to me; it's a decision, not an emotion or feeling, that if made from the heart will outlast a lot of things. It's a state of mind. It's sitting side by side in the morning light and look out at the future together.

And when you realize that it's no longer "I, me and myself", maybe... just maybe it's a 'sign' that you're falling in love.






---
p.s.: KT's guide to choosing a GF. Step 7, I believe, is true.

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posted @ 01:48, |

Esther Chin

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